


I spy with my little eye that Chanyeol is an idiot

by Jongdaesdimple



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Attempted Murder, Fluff, M/M, Minor Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun, NO DEATH, Spy Park Chanyeol, its kinda more silly than anything else, lobster pool, not even the lobsters, only putting that cause the idea makes me laugh, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jongdaesdimple/pseuds/Jongdaesdimple
Summary: Chanyeol was ordered by an international spy agency to kill Kyungsoo. One problem, he gets hurt trying and Kyungsoo starts nursing him back to health and Chanyeol’s not sure he can go through with it any more.ALSO THIS IS A FLUFFY SILLY FIC I SWEAR ITS NOT AS SERIOUS AS IT MIGHT SEEM.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	I spy with my little eye that Chanyeol is an idiot

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt came from a prompt generator so credit to that and also credit to my friend who made up the outline with me. That was a fun way to procrastinate our exam.

“Can we trust you with this?” The agent, codename Suho, asks seriously. 

“Absolutely” Chanyeol answers his tone unwavering despite his internal turmoil. 

“Good” Suho answers curtly “You’ll find the file in your mailbox within the hour.” 

The call ends and Chanyeol takes a deep breath. He’s just signed up for his first hit job. It’s not exactly what he wanted to do as a secret agent but if it’s what he needs to move up in the agency it’s what he’ll do. Plus it’s not like the agency kills people on a whim. Elite Xenophilic Operatives, better known as EXO, doesn’t kill someone unless they’ve committed horrendous crimes against humanity and are a current threat. What kind of secret human rights international group would they be if they killed anyone but the worst most dangerous people? 

Honestly, Chanyeol is a little afraid to look at the file, he’s not sure they’ll include what the guy did but if they did, Chanyeol probably won’t want to see it. Then again he needs all the help he can get with his first assassination and the information could be useful.

As Suho said, within the hour Chanyeol hears someone drop something off in his mailbox. He goes to collect the envelope and opens it. While Chanyeol was expecting a whole stack of pages about the target all he gets is a single page with an image attached. 

Target Code Name: D.O 

World Threat Level: Mauve

Personal Danger: Indigo, do not approach unless necessary 

Address: 3189 King St E 

Chanyeol memorizes the address before he sheds the page in his micro-cut shredder. After that, he packs his guns as well as other weapons and gear he could use in case the plan doesn’t work. Chanyeol is hoping he’ll be able to shoot D.O through a window and avoid any contact like was suggested but without knowing where he’s going exactly he can’t tell if that’s a viable option. 

Soon enough Chanyeol gets in his car and drives to the location. While driving he’s a bit surprised when he turns onto a suburban housing street but the address is correct and after a few minutes he arrives at his location. A very average looking mid size house, something a little family would live in and Chanyeol hopes the target doesn’t have kids before dismissing the thought because in any case, he will have to finish his mission. Chanyeol parks the car close by before moving to the back area to survey the house from behind the tinted glass windows of the second-row seats. 

Chanyeol identifies several weak spots, every single window would work perfectly for his plan. All he needs to do is find a good hiding spot and wait. Eventually, this dude will have to use his living room, kitchen or bedroom and that’s when Chanyeol can take his shot. On the property there are bushes but none are large enough to hide Chanyeol’s height. The only place Chanyeol can think of is the tree beside the house. The angle will be awkward but he would have two potential windows to shoot at if he hides in it. 

It might be because Chanyeol’s trying to delay this but Chanyeol decides to do some recon before attempting to make his shot. He remains in his car and uses his spy gear to try to see and hear D.O in his house. Chanyeol knows someone is home because the car is parked in the driveway. 

After an hour Chanyeol finally sees him and he looks a bit different than the picture Chanyeol was given but it’s definitely him. The photo Chanyeol got was of D.O with his round glasses on but in his house, D.O isn’t wearing them and instead of the round almost cute eyes he had in the photo, he’s glaring at everything in his house which makes him look a hundred times more intimidating but looks aside, Chanyeol knows the threat level he is and knows how to handle it. He was trained for this. 

Eventually, D.O picks up his phone to answer a call and Chanyeol uses his super cool spy gear (no he’s not still excited over the fact he gets to use it, yes he is) to listen in on the call. 

“Today?” D.O asks picking up the phone “I thought the shipment was supposed to come in next week.”

Chanyeol can’t quite make out the other side of the conversation but he writes down what the target says anyways in case it’s important.

“What are we going to do with it then?” D.O asks.

“No, we can’t kill them yet, don’t you know anything?” D.O says, sounding angry. 

There’s a long pause and the target sighs clearly fed up with whoever is on the other side of the conversation. 

“Sehun you’re an idiot” D.O says most likely cutting Sehun off “Just _deal_ with them and if you bleed it’s not my fault you’ve been trained.”

D.O hangs up the phone and grumbles angrily before leaving the room to somewhere Chanyeol can’t see from the car. 

Chanyeol is glad he waited because this info could be really useful and now they know D.O has an associate named Sehun. If Chanyeol didn’t trust that the target was dangerous before he certainly does now. Chanyeol grabs his gun and decides it’s time to set up his shot. He leaves his car and casually strolls up to the house, sometimes the best way to hide is to act normal. He heads towards the large tree and once he makes sure no one can see him (D.O included) he climbs up. He hides within the bushy leaves and waits. 

No one told Chanyeol being an international spy with a licence to kill would involve so much sitting and waiting but it does and he didn’t even get a cool number like 007, all he has is 61. There’s nothing scary about the number 61. After long enough for Chanyeol’s butt to get numb, the target finally comes into view. He doesn’t seem to notice Chanyeol at all which makes sense because he would be very hard to see and who would randomly search through the branches of their tree.

Chanyeol carefully tries to take aim from within the tree. This is a lot harder than Chanyeol anticipated, it’s hard to see exactly where he’s aiming because of all the leaves and Chanyeol does not want to mess up, a second shot would mean the target would be aware of his presence. Chanyeol finally lines up a shot as the target rinses his rice. He takes the safety off and places his finger on the trigger but pauses. Chanyeol has never killed anyone, not even in self-defence so it’s a little difficult to do. He knows he’ll be saving countless more lives but it’s still hard. 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath and watches as D.O strains the rice contently. He looks so normal, just like any other average person, it’s so hard to think he’s evil. He’s not even glaring anymore and he has the same cute round eyes as in the photo. D.O reaches up to grab something out of the cupboard, probably another cooking utensil but he makes some sort of mistake and a large glass bowl falls down onto the counter with a large clash before bouncing off and hitting the floor. Chanyeol flinches at the sound and loses his balance. Before he knows what’s happening he’s on the ground. 

There’s no way D.O didn’t hear the sound of Chanyeol hitting the ground and Chanyeol starts to panic. Chanyeol tries to get up but he can’t, he landed awkwardly and his ankle hurts way too much to get up. Chanyeol looks up to the window and sees that the target is already gone. Not knowing what to do, Chanyeol puts the safety back on his gun and throws it into a bush as quickly as possible. If D.O saw him fall, he’s going to have to go with a new strategy. 

“Are you ok?” The target asks walking closer to Chanyeol. 

“No” Chanyeol says putting on his cutest most pitiful face “I thought I could climb this tree but I was wrong.”

“Why would you want to climb the tree?” D.O asks before extending his hand to help Chanyeol up. 

“I dared myself” Chanyeol laughs before trying to stand up and falling back down over exaggeratedly clutching his ankle. 

“Looks like you sprained your ankle” D.O says before kneeling down on the ground beside Chanyeol “Lean on me and don’t put pressure on it when you try to stand.”

Chanyeol does what he’s told and stands up. D.O takes a step forward and Chanyeol hops forwards with him. 

“You’re really strong” Chanyeol smiles, seduction is one way to do this now that he’s made contact. 

“I try to stay healthy” D.O brushes it off “I’m Kyungsoo by the way.”

“Chanyeol” Chanyeol answers automatically before cursing himself for not using a fake name.

“Do you have a car or something?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“No, I walked” Chanyeol lies. 

“Would you be ok coming into my house to sit then?” Kyungsoo asks “I don’t think you should walk much.”

“Thank you that would be great” Chanyeol smiles 

Kyungsoo helps Chanyeol into his house and Chanyeol sits on his couch. Kyungsoo leaves the room but comes back soon with a tea set. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Kyungsoo asks before sitting on a loveseat across from Chanyeol. 

“Do you have camomile?” Chanyeol asks. 

Kyungsoo nods with a smile before pulling a bag out of a box on the table filled with tea. 

“Do you need a ride to a doctor?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“I’m actually only here on business and I didn’t get travel insurance” Chanyeol lies “I can’t really afford a doctor.”

“I have some training” Kyungsoo explains “I could look at it if you want.”

“I’d really appreciate that” Chanyeol smiles knowing full well he has a mild (level one) sprain and all he needs is some rest, elevation and some ice. 

Chanyeol takes off his shoe and sock gently making sure to wince loudly hoping Kyungsoo will think this is a bigger deal than it really is. 

Kyungsoo lightly touches Chanyeol’s leg to help him put it up on the table. Kyungsoo then pulls Chanyeol’s pants up gently to get a better look at Chanyeol's ankle. With feather-light touches, Kyungsoo asks Chanyeol how much it hurts and if he can move it. Chanyeol moves it just fine but insists it hurts a lot. 

“I feel really bad you got hurt because of my tree” Kyungsoo frowns “It just looks like a sprain so I’ll get you some ice.”

Chanyeol smiles warmly which quickly turns to a smug smile when Kyungsoo turns around. This is working, all Chanyeol needs to do is stay here and gain Kyungsoo’s trust. Once he’s close enough he can kill him with one of the hidden weapons Chanyeol has on him. 

Kyungsoo comes back with an ice pack and a bandana to tie it in place. Once he puts the ice pack on Chanyeol, Kyungsoo sits back down on the loveseat across from him. 

“Are you feeling better?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“Yeah a bit” Chanyeol smiles “I don’t know what I’m going to do though, I don’t have any friends or family here and the hotel’s elevator is down.”

“That’s awful luck” Kyungsoo frowns “I have a guest bedroom here, you could stay the night if that’s ok with you.”

“That would be amazing, thanks” Chanyeol smiles widely knowing his plan is going to work. 

As Chanyeol smiles he feels a twinge of pain and shuts his eyes in discomfort. 

“Oh!” Kyungsoo exclaims softly “I totally forgot to get stuff for your scrapes, I’ll be right back.”

Chanyeol knows this would be a great opportunity to finish his mission so as soon as Kyungsoo is out of the room he grabs a dagger he had hidden along the small of his back and unsheaths it. He hides it in his sleeve and when Kyungsoo gets close to tend to the wounds on his face, he’ll strike. 

Kyungsoo comes back with some water and disinfectant and polysporin as well as a few band-aids. 

“I hope you don’t mind having Pororo band-aids” Kyungsoo laughs lightly “I have it for when my niece visits, she likes climbing that tree too.”

“Pororo is fine” Chanyeol smiles while trying to forget about Kyungsoo having a niece that he keeps cute band-aids for. He tries not to picture how cute Kyungsoo would look taking care of a little kid. It’s irrelevant, Chanyeol has to finish his mission. 

“Ah” Chanyeol winces in pain as he feels the alcohol hit his skin. 

“Sorry” Kyungsoo whispers softly close enough that Chanyeol can feel breath on his face, close enough for Chanyeol to kill him. 

Chanyeol quietly shimmies his dagger into his hand and aims it right at Kyungsoo’s stomach, it’s not going to kill him but it will make him topple over, giving Chanyeol a chance to finish the job. 

“And that’s all” Kyungsoo says, pressing the band-aid lightly against his face. 

He missed his chance. Chanyeol quickly hides the knife again before Kyungsoo can see. 

“I was making dinner earlier so I should probably get back to that” Kyungsoo says before walking away from Chanyeol “Would you like some?”

“Yes thank you” Chanyeol smiles. 

Kyungsoo is a surprisingly good cook, Chanyeol doesn’t know what he does for a living but he could easily be a chef. He made the best kimchi fried rice and hot pot Chanyeol has had... ever. 

“Do you like it?” Kyungsoo asks with a small smile, probably already seeing Chanyeol’s reaction. 

“This is the best meal I’ve had in awhile” Chanyeol answers honestly. 

“Is that a high bar?” Kyungsoo teases. 

“I mean I’m a terrible cook but I do eat at some nice restaurants.” Chanyeol laughs before taking another bite. 

“Then I’ll take the compliment” Kyungsoo smiles. 

Chanyeol completely forgets about his mission to kill Kyungsoo during dinner. He’s so enthralled by the food and the great dinner conversation that all he thinks about is getting closer to Kyungsoo. 

It’s not till after the meal is over and Kyungsoo takes the dishes to the kitchen that Chanyeol remembers why he’s here. He frowns to himself. He doesn’t want to kill Kyungsoo, not that he wanted to do it in the first place if he’s being honest, he’d practically consider Kyungsoo a friend at this point. But he agreed to his mission and no matter how nice Kyungsoo may seem, he’s still a world threat level mauve and Chanyeol can’t let him get away. The world literally depends on it. 

“Just so you know the guest room also has Pororo bedsheets” Kyungsoo smiles awkwardly “I can change them if you want.”

“No that’s fine” Chanyeol smiles being pulled from his uncomfortable thoughts “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“Why do I feel like you actually like it?” Kyungsoo pokes fun. 

“Oh come on it’s a cute penguin” Chanyeol smiles “why wouldn’t I?”

Kyungsoo laughs loudly, not just a little chuckle like Chanyeol’s heard before but a real laugh and Chanyeol thinks it sounds amazing. It’s deep but also adorable and it suits Kyungsoo completely. 

Kyungsoo leads Chanyeol up to the guest room and Chanyeol is a little surprised by the sheets, he knew they’d be there but he didn’t know all the pillows and sheets would each have a giant penguin on them. Still a really cute penguin. 

“You know Pororo kinda looks like you” Chanyeol comments looking at the sheets. 

“That’s what my niece said” Kyungsoo smiles “that’s why she likes him so much.”

“That’s really adorable” Chanyeol says, feeling his heart warm “She must really love you.”

“I really hope so” Kyungsoo smiles “I try to do my best to be a good uncle. My brother is in the military and his wife has a very busy work schedule so I try to be there for her. They’re great parents but it’s hard for her sometimes. I do what I can to cheer her up.”

“I’m sure you do a great job” Chanyeol says, turning to face Kyungsoo. 

“Hopefully” Kyungsoo answers “unfortunately I don’t have any PJs that I could lend you, none your size anyway.”

“That’s fine” Chanyeol smiles “Good night Kyungsoo.”

“Good night Chanyeol” Kyungsoo says before walking out of the room. 

Pororo sheets are a lot more comfortable than Chanyeol though and he’s falling asleep before he knows it. 

~=+•+=~

Chanyeol failed his mission yesterday but he’s not discouraged. The target still doesn’t know about his intentions so he still has a chance. 

“Chanyeol can I come in?” Kyungsoo asks knocking on the door. 

“Yeah sure” Chanyeol answers. 

“I have to go to work soon” Kyungsoo explains “I made you breakfast, it’s on the counter.”

“Oh thanks” Chanyeol says a bit surprised Kyungsoo would do that for him. 

“I just have to water my cactus and I’ll be leaving” Kyungsoo says before walking over to the little plant on the window sill “he likes the light in this room best.”

“He?” Chanyeol asks. 

“Oh um yeah” Kyungsoo smiles before watering the plant a very small amount of water “might seem a little weird but I named him Oberon because he’s a fairy castle cactus.”

“Does he have a queen Titania?” Chanyeol jokes. 

“Not every king needs a queen” Kyungsoo answers “are you feeling better?”

“A bit but I don’t think I can walk much” Chanyeol lies, it’s almost entirely healed. 

“I’m sorry I can’t stay and help” Kyungsoo says sadly walking towards the door “I’ll be back around 3 though.”

“Have a nice day at work” Chanyeol smiles and Kyungsoo leaves the room. 

Chanyeol thinks it’s a bit odd for Kyungsoo to leave essentially a stranger in his house but it doesn’t matter because it works for Chanyeol. 

Before working out any more plans for how to kill Kyungsoo today, Chanyeol decides to go downstairs and eat the food Kyungsoo made for him. 

He wasn’t really expecting a fancy French omelet but then again Kyungsoo is a great cook. If Chanyeol had a house guest he probably would have given them cereal or toast or something like that. 

Chanyeol actually leaves Kyungsoo’s house to retrieve his gun and put it back in his car. He won’t be able to use it because if he does someone will certainly call the police and he won’t have the time to get rid of all evidence he was ever there. Shooting him through the window would have been so much simpler, just shoot and drive away. 

Once he’s in his car he grabs the small vial of poison he can use next time he sees Kyungsoo with a drink. He wishes he could grab his spare clothes but he won’t really be able to explain where he got it from. He already has his dagger and he can’t use any type of gun so aside from the poison that’s all Chanyeol can think of. 

He heads back into the house to try to find evidence or anything interesting really. The house seems extremely average, there’s no interesting paperwork. In fact, the only paperwork Chanyeol finds is organized neatly in a folder and it’s just stuff for tax returns. Spending and expenses as well as quite a few donations to various charities. Not that that makes Kyungsoo a good person, it doesn’t, but Chanyeol is finding it more and more difficult to see how this guy could be as bad as Chanyeol was told he is. Kyungsoo must be a psychopath or something to have this sort of disconnect. 

While Chanyeol is still looking through the house, he hears the lock unlock and he quickly puts it away before finding a place to hide from what Chanyeol assumes is a robber, it’s not 3 yet so it’s not Kyungsoo and Chanyeol doesn’t want any witnesses that could prove he was ever in this house. 

“I should fucking fire him!” Kyungsoo yells out angrily. 

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol says coming out from his hiding spot. Kyungsoo looks really dirty, like covered in some sort of dark oily substance. 

“Oh you can walk?” Kyungsoo asks, looking at Chanyeol. 

“Sort of” Chanyeol says holding the wall for support “I thought you were a robber so I ran and hid but it hurt a lot.”

“Oh sorry” Kyungsoo says looking down at Chanyeol’s ankle “I’m home early because one of my employees doesn’t know how to handle cleaning duties and... well anyways you don’t want to hear about that, I’ll just go take a shower.” 

Chanyeol just nods and limps over to the nearest chair for effect. Looks like his spying time is getting cut short. On the other hand, people are vulnerable in the shower... 

Chanyeol gets off the chair and quietly hops up the stairs. He listens for the shower to start and then takes out his dagger. 

He hears it start and starts slowly turning the handle of the bathroom door but it’s locked, of course it is. Chanyeol rolls his eyes and walks back downstairs to grab a paperclip. When he comes back upstairs though he hears something from the bathroom. Kyungsoo is singing in the shower. Except he sounds like an angel. He’s never heard someone sound so good in the shower. Strike that, he’s never heard someone sound that good period. 

Chanyeol can wait to kill him, he can just wait till Kyungsoo comes out of the shower. Same plan but this way Chanyeol can continue to listen to him. Kyungsoo sings Sunday Morning, Boyfriend and Open Arms. Chanyeol doesn’t even notice when Kyungsoo turns off the shower and opens the door. 

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo says, surprised to see Chanyeol outside the bathroom. Kyungsoo walks out wearing nothing but a towel, his hair still wet. 

“You’re so beautiful” Chanyeol says in shock “I mean your voice! Your voice is beautiful!”

“Oh” Kyungsoo blushes “thanks.”

Suddenly, Chanyeol realizes he’s been staring and flushes red in embarrassment. 

“Um I’m gonna go to my room” Chanyeol says not knowing what to say and he swears he hears Kyungsoo laugh as he walks away, he almost forgets to limp for a second and hopefully Kyungsoo didn’t notice. 

Chanyeol’s broken the number one rule assaination rule. Don’t fall for your target. But is it really Chanyeol’s fault? Kyungsoo has been nothing but perfect this whole time. Chanyeol shouldn’t have accepted this mission if a couple of smiles, pororo, a cactus and a beautiful voice has him questioning whether Kyungsoo should be killed. But he has to go through with it. Chanyeol’s crush isn’t more important than the world and he can’t back out now. 

“Hey I was wondering if maybe you’d like to watch a movie or something?” Kyungsoo asks from across the bedroom door “Unless you have work or something.”

“Nah I called them and told them I sprained my ankle so I’m off the hook” Chanyeol lies before limping towards the door to open it “a movie sounds fun.”

The movie Kyungsoo decided to watch was The Hitman’s Bodyguard, which is a great movie, very funny and Ryan Renolds is Chanyeol’s favourite actor but it’s not exactly what he would choose at this exact moment. 

Despite the iffy movie choice, Chanyeol is very happy to be watching the movie with Kyungsoo because halfway through Kyungsoo leans his head on Chanyeol.

“Is this ok?” Kyungsoo asks “I like cuddling while watching movies.”

“Uh- yes- yeah it’s fine” Chanyeol stumbles a little flustered. 

Kyungsoo gently takes Chanyeol’s arm and wraps it around his shoulder so they can cuddle better and Chanyeol smiles until a huge unexpected explosion happens on screen and Chanyeol practically jumps out of the couch. 

“It’s just a movie” Kyungsoo laughs (with his unbearably cute laugh) and moves Chanyeol’s arm back. 

“I’m not good with jump scares” Chanyeol admits “I get shocked easily.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asks, sounding genuinely surprised “I would not have expected that.”

“I have a lot of surprises” Chanyeol flirts. 

When the movie ends, Kyungsoo says he’s going to start making dinner and Chanyeol misses being beside him as soon as he leaves. 

Chanyeol represses his feelings because at the end of the day he was sent here to kill Kyungsoo. And he’s still going to do it... probably. He’s going to do his best to kill him anyway. 

Chanyeol sneakily leaves the living room to find something in the house he could use as a weapon. He could use his dagger of course... except he doesn’t think he could actually stab Kyungsoo, not anymore. So he needs something where he’d have to do the least amount of work himself. Some sort of projectile where all he has to do is throw it and hopefully his heart won’t betray him. 

Chanyeol finds a set of weights (an impressive weight for Kyungsoo to be using) in a nearby room which could work. They are heavy enough that if they hit Kyungsoo in the head they’d probably kill him and light enough for Chanyeol to throw. Chanyeol realizes this is probably a horrible plan but he knows his stupid crush would ruin any other tactic. 

Chanyeol picks up one of the weights and heads towards the kitchen. Before Chanyeol’s brain can get in the way, Chanyeol throws it at Kyungsoo. 

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol yells and curses himself for being the absolutely worst assassin ever. 

Kyungsoo reacts quickly and turns around and catches the weight safely. 

“Looks like you dropped this” Kyungsoo laughs.

“Ah yeah I have the worst butterfingers” Chanyeol smiles. 

“Maybe not the best idea to play with weights then” Kyungsoo laughs before putting the weight down “and you should probably still not put much pressure on your ankle even if it feels better.”

“Right” Chanyeol says before sitting at the breakfast nook in the kitchen “good point.” 

Chanyeol just sort of gives up on any chance of killing Kyungsoo physically after that. The only way he’ll be able to do it is with this little vial of poison. Even with that Chanyeol isn’t sure he’ll be able to go through with it. He trusts the agency... he does... but Kyungsoo seems way way way too nice to be an international threat to humanity. He has a cactus named after a shakespearean fairy, he’s just a sweetie. Exo made a mistake, they must have, Kyungsoo can’t be who they think he is. Then again Chanyeol did hear that phone call and Kyungsoo was definitely talking about murder, quite explicitly, it’s not even an interpretation. 

Chanyeol’s thoughts are interrupted when the phone rings and Kyungsoo picks it up. 

“Sehun?” Kyungsoo answers before pausing and listening “what do you mean?”

“I told you to deal with them” Kyungsoo says frustrated “why are you calling me about this again?” 

Chanyeol is intrigued. This seems to be a continuation of the conversation Chanyeol overheard but why would Kyungsoo answer with Chanyeol here.

“It doesn’t matter how sharp my knives are” Kyungsoo says, throwing cubes of meat in a pan “that wasn't why I couldn’t kill them yet.”

Chanyeol starts worrying. If Kyungsoo is letting him hear this then maybe Kyungsoo doesn’t intend to let Chanyeol leave this house alive. The instructions did say not to approach him but Chanyeol can defend himself. Chanyeol slowly takes his dagger out to ready himself just in case. 

“You can’t kill lobsters before you cook them because it ruins the meat” Kyungsoo explains “We literally went over this today... wait Sehun if we got the shipment yesterday, where are these lobsters.”

“A kiddy pool? You bought a kiddy pool and put them in it?” Kyungsoo asks “I have to give you credit, that is not a bad idea.”

Chanyeol puts his dagger away and laughs. So it was a misunderstanding after all. That just gives Chanyeol one less reason to kill Kyungsoo... maybe he can pretend he did and then he can run away with Kyungsoo. To make sure he’s not gonna try to threaten humanity, of course, to keep tabs on him, that’s all. 

“I’m sorry the random pool of lobsters ruined your date with Junmyeon” Kyungsoo says sounding sad “if you really want you can drop them off here and I’ll keep them until next week when we can put them in the restaurant aquarium... no problem, bye”

“Sorry about that” Kyungsoo smiles at Chanyeol “Sehun can be a bit of a handful of an employee sometimes, like when he threw all our used frying oil on me today, but he works hard. Hope that conversation wasn’t too weird for you. Running a restaurant can be a bit hectic sometimes.”

“It was kinda funny” Chanyeol smiles “I’d probably run if my date had a pool of lobsters at his place.”

“Well too bad cause I’ll have them here tomorrow” Kyungsoo laughs. 

“Are you implying we’d be on a date?” Chanyeol teases. 

“I have another movie I’d like to watch tomorrow” Kyungsoo smiles softly. 

“What about a dinner date tonight?” Chanyeol asks. 

“It just so happens I’m making us dinner right now” Kyungsoo says. 

“Perfect” Chanyeol smiles. 

Once Kyungsoo is done cooking, he brings the food out to the dining table and Chanyeol helps. They both sit down and Chanyeol debates whether he should poison Kyungsoo or not. Doesn’t seem to matter though because unless Kyungsoo leaves the table, Chanyeol won’t have a chance to put anything in his drink anyways. Maybe it’s a sign, one of many, that Chanyeol shouldn’t kill Kyungsoo. 

“Oh my god this is amazing” Chanyeol says eating some of the mashed potatoes Kyungsoo made “no wonder you have a restaurant.” 

“Thank you” Kyungsoo smiles “I don’t usually hear people so excited about my food. It’s usually just critics and they don’t say much until their reviews are published.”

“That’s lame” Chanyeol says eloquently “you should have someone telling you how good you are at cooking everyday.”

“You’re cute” Kyungsoo smiles before eating a bit more of his dinner “This is really nice, I haven’t had a dinner guest in a while, except for yesterday of course.”

“Dinner date” Chanyeol corrects. 

“Right” Kyungsoo smiles “so I told you I run a restaurant but what do you do for a living?”

“I’m in advertising” Chanyeol lies, it’s what he tells everyone, including his family “it’s really boring but it keeps a roof on my head.”

“Is that why you climbed my tree?” Kyungsoo asks “boredom.”

“Yeah” Chanyeol lies again “I need something dangerous to live a little, it’s who I am.”

“And with your clumsiness I’m just that gets you into a lot of trouble” Kyungsoo smiles. 

“Way too much trouble” Chanyeol answers honestly. 

Kyungsoo reaches out for something on the table but can’t seem to find it. 

“Oh I forgot the gravy I’m sorry I’ll be right back” Kyungsoo says before standing up and leaving the table. 

Well so much for a sign not to kill Kyungsoo, now that Kyungsoo left it would be so easy to slip poison into his water. Chanyeol debates it momentarily in his head before realizing it’s not really his choice, the agency says Kyungsoo is a threat and Chanyeol agreed to take the job. It’s his duty to finish it or at least try his best. 

He quickly pours the vial into Kyungsoo glass and stirs it a little. He’s done long before Kyungsoo comes back with the little gravy boat. 

“This is my mom’s gravy recipe” Kyungsoo explains “so if you hate it blame her.”

“No way I’ll hate it” Chanyeol says while pouring some over his food “all gravy is good.”

They continue to talk and eat for a while and Chanyeol notices that Kyungsoo never touches his glass. Not even once. Which is odd because he was drinking from it before but since he left the room he hasn’t taken a sip. Maybe there’s more to Kyungsoo than Chanyeol thought, or he's just not thirsty. 

Chanyeol feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and takes it out, Suho is calling, this could be important. 

“Do you mind if I take this?” Chanyeol asks “It’s work”

“Go ahead” Kyungsoo smiles, still not touching his drink and Chanyeol can’t tell if he’s happy about that or not. 

Chanyeol walks far enough away from Kyungsoo so he won’t hear the call but also close enough that he can keep an eye on Kyungsoo. 

“This is Chanyeol, agent 61” Chanyeol answers, as per protocol. 

“Have you eliminated the target yet?” Suho asks. 

“No” Chanyeol answers honestly, not beating around the bush “but I have a plan.”

“Oh don’t worry about that we’re calling the hit off.” Suho answers quickly. 

“What?” Chanyeol asks, surprised while still trying to keep his tone down. 

“D.O was cleared of his charges and is no longer a treat” Suho answers “You can go home and await your next mission.”

“He’s no longer a threat?” Chanyeol asks, wondering why he was going to kill him if Kyungsoo could have been cleared of his threat level “Why is he suddenly no longer a threat?”

“New evidence has come to light” Suho says professionally before changing his tone to a more causal one “listen, we had good evidence against him and the threat was too big so it was a risk we had to take. I’m glad you didn’t kill him but understand we need to think of the world first. He could have killed millions, well turns out that’s not true, but as far as we knew it was, so we had to make a choice.”

“I understand” Chanyeol says “just please demote me because I don’t think I can do this again.”

“I’ll revoke your license” Suho answers “you’ll be kept on low level surveillance from now on.”

“Thanks” Chanyeol answers. 

Chanyeol hangs up the phone. Chanyeol’s not exactly happy to have been demoted like that but there’s no way he could take someone’s life when the agency might realize the hit never should have happened. If there’s one thing he’s learned today is he’s not cut out for the assassin stuff. Plus, low level surveillance is cool...kinda... at least it will pay the bills and save lives. 

He turns back to Kyungsoo and watches as Kyungsoo takes a big gulp of the poisoned water. 

“Kyungsoo no!” Chanyeol yells “We need to get you to a hospital right now, I’ll explain later but that water had poison in it!”

“Huh” Kyungsoo says looking at Chanyeol without the fear Chanyeol had expected “I wasn’t expecting you to admit that. I had a whole death I was going to fake.”

“What?” Chanyeol says confused. 

“Did you use P12 or 14?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“P12” Chanyeol answers honestly despite his confusion. 

“That’s what I thought but I got both andedots just in case” Kyungsoo says before taking a pill Chanyeol didn’t know he was holding. 

“How did you know? How do you even know those codes they’re top secret?” Chanyeol asks.

“Chanyeol I’m an ex-exo agent I knew what was going on the whole time” Kyungsoo admits. 

“Then why did you let me stay here?” Chanyeol asks. 

“Because you’re cute and you were hurt” Kyungsoo answers “I know how to protect myself so I didn’t think the risk was too high.”

“I was going to kill you” Chanyeol says seriously. 

“And now you’re not?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“You were cleared of your charges” Chanyeol explains “Like 5 minutes ago.”

“Well that’s because I never did it” Kyungsoo laughs “Did they tell you what the charge was?”

“No” Chanyeol answers. 

“I was in charge of one of the nuclear keys and I lost it” Kyungsoo explains “They didn’t believe me and decided I was a threat. I assume they found it now, it was probably in the vents like I said it was.”

“Well I’m glad I didn’t kill you then” Chanyeol smiles. 

“Me too” Kyungsoo says before making a face of discomfort “You know even with the antidote, poison doesn’t feel great.”

“Is it my turn to take care of you?” Chanyeol smiles and Kyungsoo nods “I’ll go get you some more water.”

Chanyeol leaves the dining room and heads to the kitchen for water before poping his head back in. 

“Uh and just to make sure” Chanyeol says standing up “me poisoning you, does that have any effect on our movie date tomorrow?”

“As long as I survive, it won’t” Kyungsoo laughs. 

“Oh my god don’t even joke about that” Chanyeol says with wiz eyes. 

“You’re literally the worst assassin” Kyungsoo points out “who warns their target before throwing a weight at their head?”

“Well I’m happy to be the world's worst assassin because it kept you alive” Chanyeol smiles “I’ll get you that water now.”

“Thanks”

The end. Lol idk what this is I just wanted to write it. 


End file.
